How does it feel to get screened for an arrange marriage? Full of humiliation at the hands of suitors and parents, isn’t it?

I write this in anger, in grief, in frustration!

I have written this to tell you guys how lucky you are to be born as a boy, not a girl. Despite of the fact that girl has never let behind of boys in any cases, be it education or job. But, here comes the situation where she has to let down in front of boys to be liked by him and his family. How far is this justifiable?

A middle class Indian family – an educated and cultured family leaves no stone unturned when it comes to educating their children, be it a girl or a boy. But, the difference begins when you are educated and have the ability to make a choice. Here comes a point when your parents remind you of being a girl.

This is what situation arises in every girl family:

Her mother constantly point her to conceal acne scars properly so that it won’t be visible, apply a better shade of lipstick, tie her hair in better way and look the best of the best.

When a boy’s family arrive, whole member of girl’s family get ready to welcome them in a truly royal fashion. Is it really required? I guess no, but, have to show off probably! With the condescending attitude, they arrive to a girl’s home and take their seat. After ushering for a probable meeting with boy, here starts the initial screening of a girl with a boy’s mother. The question and answer rounds starts and the most important thing that I forgot here to mention is that a girl is advised by her parent to keep her head down and answer only in a monosyllabic way.

Why this happens?

When a parent had given their daughter best education, freedom and support everytime she required, but in this marriage market they forgot that their daughter is not a commodity. They need not pay these people for their daughter’s marriage. But, on the other side the truth is ugly and reality more crude.

The session doesn’t ends here

Next round is preceded with the guy himself. “Are you ready to leave your current job and look for the one where you will be married?” “Why does your qualification doesn’t match your job profile?”. All these silly questions that a girl has never heard in her professional life is forced to answer him just to impress him and his family. Why so? Is this really needed to get selected as a good partner?

So, my question is why a woman doesn’t have her self-esteem intact? Why is she treated as a commodity with her parents acting as a sales person?

It is high time that we as women learn to take responsibility. Society and social rules won’t change any time soon. Instead of giving in to the unwanted demands, we must resist. Obviously it is difficult, but not impossible. Taking dowry is a crime, but why give dowry? Let’s build a better future wherein we are respected for being a woman of substance. Let’s be proud and celebrate our womanhood.

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