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  • Should You Have Expectations in a Relationship?

Featured Image Caption: Couple Holding Hands

We expect to be loved till the day we die and are ready to give everything to our partner, but sometimes we only get disappointment. Many are unaware that their high relationship expectations are the reason why the relationship dies. Read on to find out the truth about different relationship expectations and how they affect your love story.

What are relationship expectations? Relationship expectations are a part of our inner reality that we build ourselves. But usually, the picture drawn in our imagination does not come true because the other person cannot read the other people’s thoughts. We begin to experience frustration and disappointment as most people set their relationship expectations too high.

First relationship expectations are usually too high. It’s okay to have your standards and hope that your partner will meet them. However, some unrealistic relationship expectations from movies will simply destroy even the strongest feelings.

The Most Common Expectations That Kill Your Romance

Lovers Do Not Fight

No matter how much you love your partner, it is entirely normal to have some misunderstandings and fights. It is incorrect to think that happiness is incompatible with quarrels and small fights. Trying to hide the problem rather than solve it will inevitably lead to a massive fight that might end even the closest relationship.

Feelings Always Remain the Same As Before

Relationship expectations will constantly develop. Each of us experiences internal changes, crises, changes in our views and priorities. To believe that feelings should always remain the same as in the very beginning is to deny the very volatility of our nature.

Happy Couples Spend All Their Time Together

Relationship expectations and relationship quality go together. Partners need to spend quality time together to strengthen mutual understanding, warm feelings and a spark. But at the same time, everyone needs time for themselves. The desire to experience everything together can result in mutual irritation and distance.

woman sitting near the window

Woman Sitting Near the Window

He Will Always Remain a Beautiful Prince

One of the most common dating expectations is that your significant other will always be like when you just started going out. It is nice when a man looks after you and treats you like a princess, but he will also have bad days (just like you). So it would not be fair to think that your significant other will always be perfect and romantic.

Everything Will Change As Soon as We Get Married

People do not change after they get married. Your love and standards will change over time, but the wedding ceremony alone will not turn your fiancé into the man you would like to see. He will remain himself, so expecting him to change after saying “I do” will only lead to disappointment.

How to Get Rid Of High Relationship Expectations?

Communicate your relationship expectations with your partner to make sure you are on the same wavelength and ready to follow each other’s thoughts and ideas. Your expectations will need to be revised and changed from time to time, so it is essential to adjust.

Realize that everyone has a right to make a choice. A man is not your copy, shadow, or student. You must not make your significant other guilty because of your high relationship expectations. Relationships require work from both partners, and you need to learn how to negotiate.

Respect yourself and do not waste precious hours of your life on empty relationship expectations. Every woman has an intuition that can tell her the right actions and an accurate picture of relationships. Do not be afraid to hear the voice of your soul or to lose anyone.

Turn relationship expectations into a reality. Learn how to find common ground. In this case, everyone takes responsibility and sets boundaries that must be respected to make the partner’s standards true.

If the previous advice does not work, remember that relationship expectations and reality are two different things. They can sometimes coincide. But you should never think that your relationship expectations will be the same!


Both men and women have their standards, which is entirely natural. You don’t need to give up all your standards, but you need to look at life more realistically and be fair. Once you learn to love a person with all their weaknesses, you will find your happiness.

It often happens that high relationship expectations can become very painful and risky since not everyone will correspond to the image invented in our head. Such standards can kill even the strongest feelings. Before setting relationship expectations for your partner, ask yourself: “Do I live up to my expectations?” And, based on this, make conclusions. Have you ever had high standards? Tell us in the comments how they influenced your feelings.

Miranda Davis

By Miranda Davis
who is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on dating sites on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.

Member since April, 2021
View all the articles of Miranda Davis.

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